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Because creating
firearms crime by having a Byzantine code of firearm laws proves there's
a problem, and justifies more laws to create more crime.
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Because an underpaid, overworked bodyguard should be glad to throw himself
in front of a bullet for you.
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Because an 18-year-old
can handle a machinegun and die defending another nation's oil reserves,
thereby being a hero, but an 18-year-old who tries to defend his or her
child with a gun belongs in jail.
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Because gun owners are a threat by existing that must be destroyed by any
means possible and their rights are unimportant, but the thugs who attack
us on the street whom the gun owners wish to be armed against are simply
a problem we have to put up with.
-
Because making
it harder to get firearms legally will reduce their illegal use, just
like making it harder to get a prescription will cut down on the illicit
drug trade.
-
Because you
don't need a gun, therefore no one needs one, and you have the right to
impose that belief and will on others.
-
Because stupidity can be cured by legislation.
-
Because it's
wrong to use tax dollars to finance private political agendas, unless
you are John Howard and that agenda is to ban guns.
-
Because alcohol is acceptable in public and in private, as long as the user
doesn't use it while driving, but mere possession of a gun is a threat
to others.
-
Because one accidental death is too many, but dozens of people dying because
the means of self-defence were not available is unavoidable and not worthy
of worry.
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Because we should ban guns because people have a "right to feel safe,"
but the right to feel safe by owning firearms for defence is not valid.
-
Because the
few people who can't use martial arts or other non-lethal means of self-defence--the
young, the old, the infirm, the disabled, the weak, the small, and the
pregnant--are simply the necessary sacrifice we must make to criminals
to avoid the risks of letting people be armed.
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Because the dangers of guns outweigh their recreational uses, unlike alcohol
and motorcycles.
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Because getting rid of guns reduces violence, so the military should be armed
with bouquets of flowers.
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Because we should hang out at funeral directors to tell the families of the
deceased how lucky they are their loved one was killed by a drunk driver
and not a man with a gun.
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Because we should require trigger locks and safe storage facilities for all
guns in order to prevent accidents, just like we require all household
chemicals to be kept in a locked cabinet.
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Because telling a murderer he'll go to jail for carrying a gun will make
him think twice.
-
Because the only way to end gun violence is to ban guns, just like the only
way to end medical malpractice is to ban doctors.
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Because killing
a triple murderer so you don't become the fourth victim is "escalating
the violence."
-
Because repealing laws that discriminate against gun-owners "endorses"
guns, just like repealing laws that discriminate against gays "endorses"
homosexuality.
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Because guns
are designed only to kill, just like women are designed only to give birth.
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Because a person
who would commit violence with a gun would never do so with a knife.
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Because most
people are seething cauldrons of potential violence who cannot be trusted
with a gun, but most people are so decent that there is no need to carry
a weapon for defence.
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Because if a
group of anti-gun protesters feels threatened, they should ask police
with guns to protect them while they tell everyone how worthless guns
are for protection.
-
Because the typical town only needs one police officer per 1000 population,
because most people are law abiding, but that it's dangerous to let citizens
carry weapons because most people are criminal.
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Because the government can control guns as well as it controls drugs.
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Because violence is bad, but any defensive use of a firearm that doesn't
involve the death of the perpetrator is invalid.
-
Because the
worst thing one can do if there's an intruder in the house is get a gun
and apprehend them, and the best thing on can do is pretend to be asleep
and wait for them to go away, especially if they are raping your children.
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Because gun control will "keep guns out of the wrong hands," meaning
law-abiding Australians' hands.
-
Because beer-gutted police have special mental, emotional and physical capabilities
that enable them to deal with the incredible complexity of a firearm,
and private citizens can never hope to achieve such competence.
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Because a gun with an 11 round magazine is dangerous, but a gun with fifteen
10 round magazines is much safer.
-
Because a hijacker
could easily take a gun away from a pilot, but the hundreds of passengers
aboard would then be unable to take the gun away from the hijacker.
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Because if there'd
been a gun aboard American Airlines Flight 11, someone could have been
hurt.
-
Because 1 firearm
owner in 10,000 will commit an act of violence in his or her lifetime,
and this is far more frightening than the 25% of drivers who will cause
a serious or fatal accident.
-
Because a law that allows someone to keep doing "X" that has been
legal for years, in the face of another, badly written law that says they
can't do "Y", is a "loophole."
-
Because a criminal is somehow more of a threat to a cop than to a regular
person, so police need guns and regular citizens don't.
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Because the "Reasonable" uses for guns are hunting and target shooting,
but not self-defense. In other words, it's acceptable to use them as toys
but not as lifesaving devices.
-
Because intelligent people should support gun control because they realize
they are too stupid to be trusted with guns.
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Because we should
deal with the problem of criminals using illegal weapons by taking lawful
weapons away from honest people.
-
Because we should ban guns-if it saves even one life, it's worth it, just
as we should ban assemblies where people might be trampled to death-if
it saves just one life, it's worth it, and we should ban speech by groups
who offend public order-if it saves just one life, it's worth it, and
we should ban unhealthy foods-if it saves just one life, it's worth it,
and...
-
Because a punk wakes up one morning, and thinks, "Gee, instead of robbing,
raping, sodomizing and killing a young woman, why don't I turn my $2000
gun in for $500 and a pizza and go work at McDonald's?"
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Because the more helpless you are, the safer you are from criminals.
-
Because an intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but
if shot with a .44 Magnum will get angry over your retaliation and kill
you.
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Because ordinary people, in the presence of guns, turn into slaughtering
butchers, and revert to normal when the weapon is removed.
-
Because a criminal will take a gun away from you and use it against you,
so conversely, the best thing to do when threatened is to take the criminal's
gun away from him and us it against him.
-
Because we must
get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree
at any time, but anyone who owns a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is
paranoid.
-
Because guns are an ineffective means of self defense for rational adults,
but in the hands of an ignorant criminal become a threat to the fabric
of society.
-
Because a handgun, with up to 4 switches and controls, is far too complex
for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile which
only has 20.
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Because handguns are useful only for murder, which is why the police and
military define them as defensive weapons.
-
Because rifles
with pistol grips are assault weapons, just like vehicles with racing
stripes are sports cars.
-
Because Canberra is safer with bans on guns, which is why John Howard has
gun-toting guards.
-
Because most
people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most
people will abide by, because they can be trusted.
-
Because people who own guns out of a fear of crime are paranoid, but people
who don't want other people to own guns in case it causes them to commit
crimes are rational.
-
Because it's acceptable to arm a security guard at $12 an hour to shoot criminals
for stealing bank deposits, but unacceptable for a university-educated
business owner to do it himself.
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Because it's
reasonable to require proof of a criminal act before an order of protection
can be issued, but reasonable to assume anyone with a gun will commit
a criminal act, so they should be subject to prior restraint.
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Because guns are the gravest threat to society because 360,000 licensed Australian
gun owners didn't commit a crime yesterday.
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Because a $12
an hour security guard can protect money with a gun, but you cannot protect
your children with one.
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Because people
are too stupid to handle guns, but are intelligent enough to vote.
-
Because guns
are not an effective means of self-defence, which is why police carry
them.
